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Saturday, April 21, 2007

had U14 trials today. din make it to training squad. well, my 1st thought was like " its ok lah, dun get in then dun get in lor. no nid to be disappointed." but after a while, i realised tt i felt VERY disappointed.
not because i din get in but more bcos i've missed out a chance to play with ppl hu r better than me. one of my frens asked me

" leeyin, are you jealous tt u din get in?"
and my reply was
" absolutely not. im really happy for cyn, estee and lixuan for getting into the squad. and the happiness is frm the bottom of my heart. "

but i am really glad that at least some ppl frm my team r in the squad, and tt they really hv the potential.

but right now, to be honest, im really disppointed that i din make it. its like a feeling i cnnt describe.

you asked me
"so who got thru the trials"
my reply
"cyn, estee and lixuan"
you asked
"you din get in meh?"
my reply
"no. cos not good enough"
you said
"but SHE said you played quite well leh"
my reply
"BUT NOT WELL ENOUGH"

but no matter what, cyn, estee and lixuan.
u all must jia you and do us proud. =)

went to watch NSL after my tuition today and i was really inspired by Sharks.
their runs, their perservance, their mentality

and i realised tt ther's no use for me to keep on dwelling tt im not good enough
but its time i got up and fought for wat i wanted.

i no longer wanna be the person i used to be
the leeyin that din fight for what she wanted.
but instead i wanna be someone hu works hard to achieve her goals
and do something about what she wants.

a better player. a better person.

i've decided to do smthing abt my elevation since ther's not much i can do abt my height.
by the end of Oct, i wanna be a different player and a different person.