saudade.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

& i'm counting the seconds till you break the silence.
so please, won't you just break the resounding agony i'm suferring from?

i wouldn't say that the last 3 self study days have been too productive.
i've had enough of hydrochloric acid, tunku abdul rahman, sodium chloride, cubic equations,
fair laws, ammonium, partial fractions, principles of good governance.
any more and i swear my brain will explode, not literally of course.

i wanna go watch the House Bunny!
haha, heard that it's kinda like a bimbo flick
which makes it good to help me loosen up.

CHOO YEAP. (it should be quite obvious who are the two people i'm referring to :D).
we were playing the shoot, shag, marry game,
and he chose to marry c WITHOUT hesitation, saying that she's good wife material. LOL.
plus when we were in JE library, he went like
"where's my stuff, DEAR?"
b said that in such a sweet voice to c lah please.

yes, i'm suppose to be mugging for maths and chem
but i'm feeling really sick.
a throbbing headache and feeling real nauseous.
i feel like throwing up the lunch i just had :X

and as i was sitting on 57 to get to United Square,
the thought of us suddenly popped into my mind.
i realised that i miss our friendship, somehow.

do you remember the first valentine's day after we met?
the cards you gave us and that little elephant,
i was really touched and thought that it was really a sweet gesture.

or the way you and hc bought that bag i wanted for my birthday,
i was so pleasantly surprised.

or that time when we went to your mum's place and laughed ourselves silly,
with wj falling over his own chair and that "i'm hot" slogan.

or how i would call you sometimes for advice when i was feeling down,
the way we'll talk, just like good friends,
the way i thought i could count on you to be there for me.

the times we were at kallang KFC and i took those random shots,
all the craziness with no pretense.

or how you told me to stick to my decisions with a smack,
and i would say ok but still fail to stick to my decisions.

the way we used to tease you about j in sec 1
and you would deny when he was obviously smitten with you.

how you tried to bribe me with a lollipop(?!),
when i put that sound clip of you singing acapella on my blog.
you were like so shocked cause you didn't know about the clip
and i refused to take it down till eveyone has heard it.

like how i told you that you kinda looked like Snoopy after you cut your hair,
and the appalled look you gave me and violently protested.

so how did we become like this, tell me.
when i look at you, the good memories are all tainted with the lines you've crossed.
the things done and the things to come.
i wish things weren't this way, i swear.
but once something's done, there's no way you can change it.
you made your choice.
but somehow deep down, i know that i miss what we used to share.
maybe, just maybe, someday, we'll get back what we've lost.
perhaps to you, there wasn't anything to start with.
when i think back, i'm overwhelmed by a bittersweet feeling.
if i could, i would turn back the clock and prevent any of this from happening.
cause to me, you were such a valued friend.
but now that it's all said and done,
there's no turning back anymore.

or is there?
idk.