saudade.

Friday, February 27, 2009

why don't you stay with me, share all your secrets tonight.
we can make believe that everything's gonna be alright.

why in the world do people do what they do.

"And what is it about this that scares the hell out of you?" For a moment, Chris was speechless, his eyes set on Dr. Feinstein as if he was wondering whether this man as a seer. Then he looked away and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "My whole life was about her," Chris said, his vioce thick. "What if her whole life wasn't about me?"
- The Pact, Jodi Picoult

i'm exhausted, fatigued and burnt out.
every bit of me.

life's been pretty messy the last few weeks
but i guess everything's sorted out now (i definitely hope so)
haha, well at least r's back on the team :D
thank god, we have been winning all the matches so far,
but we still haven't reached our peak yet so fight on RVNB!

well, i failed maths for this term, yet again.
TSL approached me today and told me to work harder.
but i just gave him that look and said in a resigned tone,
"i don't wanna do maths"
i was expecting a pissed off reaction from him
but all he did was sigh and say
"if you don't wanna do then so be it."
i was momentarily stunned.
yea, disappointment was written all over his face.
but i can't lie to him either.

but that aside,
can't wait for the march holidays to arrive!!!:D :D :D
then at least can take a breather and catch up on work.
plus there's that coming up too, heh.

SCB!!! (if you're reading this)
I MISS YOU LOADS :(

hahaha, this is so hilarious.
as i was typing the above paragraph,
there was a moth episode in my house, lol.

to my dearest table mate,
please do not think that you're sucky alright.
cause you're not.
everytime you feel shitty,
remember that God allows things to happen so that you can learn.
instead of focusing on what is on the surface,
try to understand the bigger picture of God's lesson.
our faith is strong, ring a bell?
i know you're a strong girl.
love you always :D

i know my post is really fragmented but pardon me alright
i'm really tired already.

Nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that's because it's all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thingand that led someone else to do a bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone's ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end.

But then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is suppose to look like.
- Nineteen Minutes, Jodi Picoult

it was only when i saw you that the feeling became so acute.
seeing you jolted me out of my thinking that maybe we're still good friends.
cause it's stark obvious that we've drifted.
you've grown up and so have i.
we hardly have common topics and we're always so busy with our things.
but the truth is,
i miss you, alot.
sometimes on the bus, i catch myself reminicsing the long walks we used to take
from just hanging out together or just texting each other,
it seemed like such a long time ago.
as much as i hate to admit it, i still think about those times,
wondering if we had done something differently,
maybe things won't be the way they are now.

we walk past each other, say hi and that's about it.
i don't act as if i care cause it wouldn't make a difference;
you don't see me anymore.
most of the time i can shield the feelings of missing you,
but at times like these, my walls break down.
but it's alright, cause you're never going to know how i feel.