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Wednesday, December 09, 2009



seems like i'm back right where i started,
or perhaps it had never ended.

i don't know why i'm there,
why i'm doing what i'm doing,
and what i really want to achieve.

you know like how sometimes in life,
you reach this junction where you have absolutely no idea
why you're doing certain things.

i used to think that doing it for them would be enough,
enough to get me by.
but i'm starting to realize that i've never been more wrong in my life.
i can't get through all this, if my heart's not in it.

and i know there's something wrong,
cause i seem to no longer attach any emotional value to it.
no drive, nothing.
i don't want to give it up, but what's my reason for fighting.

seems like most of the time's for catch up.
3 steps behind.
and when i've taken that 3 steps,
i'm already another 5 steps behind.
there's only so much i can take without it becoming warped.

maybe i'm angry with her.
honestly, maybe i am.
and maybe that's why i can't seem to respect you.
the sight of you turns me off.
even though i try so damn hard not to feel that way,
to be positive about it.
but no, you have no freaking idea how much this dilemma's killing me.



*picture credits: tapestry89.tumblr