saudade.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

some live for thrill, some kill for the thrill.
so tell me what i'm living for.

game with U17 today was alright (personally) i guess.
but RV played really brilliantly for the first quarter,
hahaha, impressive *claps* :D

but honestly, i felt that when i was playing today
i was absolutely off, as though i could no longer connect to the game.
when i told ST that, she was like
"haha, sounds like you're breaking up with the sport."
when i heard that i was totally LOL-ed please.
and the thing is, i'm not exactly sad that i can no longer feel the ~~love~~ connection.
i'm feeling quite alright actually; i think i kinda knew it long ago.
it's like this moment/couple of games when you realize that you no longer love the game,
but the people.
and the only reason why you're giving it your best shot is because
you don't wanna let your team mates down.

went to eat at Island Creamery with netballers afer the game
before going to eat proper dinner at AFC.
i was so bloated at the end of the day please!
i swear my stomach was on the verge of bursting,
hahahaha.
and R still said she was hungry lah
winner winner.

after R left, LX, ST and i stayed back to chat somemore.
we talked quite a bit actually.
hahaha, R and her TDs :)
damn funny can.
we just kept laughing and laughing.

i realised that this year is gonna be a turbulent year.
so many things are gonna change, and it's so out of my comfort zone.
it has dawned on me that people that i know are actually starting to make plans for the future,
and i guess i AM intimidated.
not only that, i don't even know whether the netball family is still gonna stay intact!
that really bugs me you know :(
sure i try not to think about it, but sometimes the thought just flashes across my mind,
and i can't ignore it.
but oh well, stay positive! :)

had my first bass lesson on fri.
hah, it was real fun!
met D for dinner before that and we chatted quite a bit.
arrived a little late for lesson and uncle D seemed real surprised to see me.
LOL.
it felt so weird learning under him!
couldn't stop laughing, it's almost like this involuntary reflex.
hahaha, and KL was there too!
he kinda become my tutor for the lesson (cause uncle D and H kept ignoring me! tsktsk.)
really nice of him :)

grr, i regret so much that i didn't go for church camp!!!
:( X 1000
sighs, it sounds like fun man.
plus quite a couple of the usual gang are there, tsktsk.
i wanna go i wanna go i wanna go.
rawr.

the concept behind wishing is kinda sad ain't it?
you'll feel good in that moment when you're making your wish
but in the end, all that wishing achieves
is making you more aware of the things you don't have.

"I believe the saddest thing in life is caring so much for someone,

and then one day when you look into their eyes and listen to them talk,

you realize that they are gone.

All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name. "

—

Unknown
i've been trying so hard

but you still seem to be slipping through my fingers

please don't tell me this is happening,

again.

i miss you alot.