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Friday, August 29, 2008

have you ever felt like there was 2 people inside one of you? it's so damn ridiculous cos the two people are so gawddamned extreme. there're times when you say/do something and you wish you could undo it, yet at the same time, you were so glad you did it cos it was all you ever wanted to do. like fcuk it man, it totally sucks when you don't wanna be a certain way yet you can't help it. the helplessness sucks. that undescribable agony you feel when you try to interact and all only to find out that they don't give a shit about you. and when they're suppose to be your good friends. those stupid times you just wanna walk away from that awful situation but your feet stays planted where they are. you try to make things right but you get scolded for it instead. that pending feeling of not meeting the standard, where does that leave me then? not trusting anyone but yourself, as much as you want to. this is so shitty. yea, i know i'm suppose to be optimistic and all. but fcuk that smile, it's nothing but lies. one lie after another, when are you gonna start being honest with me. damn it. i'm so sick of this crap, i just wanna turn around and walk away, like what he did. but i know i can't. i don't wanna make that mistake. but damn it, i just need a break. a break from this shit, this nonsense you're always giving me. why make me promises when you NEVER keep them. fcuk you. once bitten, twice wary, thrice and YOU'RE OUT OF THE GAME. i'm not your dog. trying hard and failing, it's so discouraging. wanting to belong somewhere but end up feeling more lonely than ever. want to rewrite my life, like just flip to page one and erase everything, every single event. freaking hypocrates, i can't stand the likes of you. damn it, i'm just so ugh right not. fcuk it.