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Thursday, March 18, 2010


and sometimes, it's the possibilities that plagues our hearts and our minds.



"And so I've been wondering, who's your heart beating for?"

a slip of the tongue, freudian or naught it doesn't matter. the fact is, it doesn't mean that if someone's on your mind, that person is the one your heart is beating for. some things bring us back to where we started, replaying all the good times, the thrill of the chase, stolen kisses and lingering glances. your heart may be beating for someone else now, that i have no clue. i gotta learn to live with my, our decision. no more looking back.
We can’t waste too much time missing something or someone from the past. We accept that life’s never constant; things change and people grow apart. Yet we can’t stop thinking about how good it used to be; afraid that we’d never experience it again, afraid that we’ve already lived it and lost it.

my weakness is nonetheless, backward glances. things you say and do, the power to bring me crumbling down, to doubt the rationality of my decisions and i land up at the very place i hate. the need to convince myself that your heart belongs to someone else now.


Have you ever wondered about the things we tell ourselves before we fall asleep? We whisper the words in the dark, telling ourselves that we’re happy, or that he’s happy, that people will change their minds. We persuade ourselves that we can live without the people who have left. Each night before we fall asleep we lie to ourselves in a desperate hope that come morning, it will all be true.

that it is no longer my existence that sends your heart into overdrive. that i'm not the last coherent thought before you drift off into slumber and the first every morning. that when you see couples holding holds on the train, you don't think of me. i have to do this, it's the only way i'm going to survive.



"I need someone who won’t give up on me."








blockquote credits: runawaytrain.tumblr.com