saudade.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

whoa, the worst of the worst is OVER. whee!!! science and maths are down.. next 3 papers not tt stressful liao.haha.. this week im happy.. cos i got to eat home-cooked food. all thanks to you :D haha.. but anw, cant believe it tt EOYs are gonna be over soon. jus wat clau said, durinfg sept holidays we were still like " gosh, haven mug yet" but now, its like 3 more papers then no need to mug le. lol. pretty ironic. hmm.. gotta study for History.. ernie said tt hv to write alot. cos i went like
"You all will get __ number of writing paper"
me: "whoa, tt means we hv to write alot sia"
then he heard me. then he said.
"leeyin, of course. y else do you tink u hv hour 45 mins?"
=x
HAHA. jus hope it wont be some chim questions.. cos my brain seriously not working le. after the damage frm science and maths.

going back to HGP 2morrow.. kinda excited. hope they'll be gg back too.. long time since i last saw them.. miss them LOTS.
anw, hv to go back to settle some alumni stuff. haiz.. lol. but at least im no longer president so ya, much better.

to everyone who's mugging for the last few papers JIA YOU~. haha.. before you know it, it'll be over =)

HAPPINESS.
what does it really mean?
i guess the best example will be HC. she's just so carefree.
we might say " Cos she's happy-go-lucky mah. that's y she's so happy"
but i think tt reponse is wrong.
I've seen her have her down times and when she's being scolded and all.
But the thing tt differentiate us from her is the way we choose to react.
She will be sad but after a while, she'll jus be happy again.
When you ask her why. she'll tell you.
"Cos its over le mah. what for be so upset?"
I think what she say is true.
To be happy you must first not be sad.
what is our happiness?
i feel that it should be all the gd stuff we have.
something gd may happen in the afternoon and something bad may happen at nite.
does tt mean tt we dun have happiness?
instead of looking at the bad stuff, remeber the good stuff.
i know ur dad is unreasonable and all.
but then again, mayb smthing might hv caused him to be like tt.
But i jus feel sorry for him,
cos a life tt's bitter is a life not lived to the fullest.
i cant imagine the life tt ur dad has.
mayb all this can be smthing you learn frm.
jus keep praying.
mayb ur dad has his own problems.
problems tt he cant solve.
things tt he cant get over.
but unlike you, he din hv anyone to help him.
mayb tts y he's like tt today
ur happiness shouldn't be affected by so many factors.
it shouldn't be
"if my dad doesn't say anything then i'll be happy"
cos you cant control what happen.
what you can do is to control how you feel abt it.
he might say nasty things but u can choose not to hear it.
you can choose not to be affected.
its tough yes, but no one said anything's gonna be easy rite?
you're tired, so jus take a break.
you cant do everything by urself.
bad stuff may happen. but its the bad stuff tt brings out the good.
just keep trying. i know ur dad is like...
but jus keep praying for God's strength.
He'll lead you through.
Only if you allow Him to.